A couple of weeks ago during my prayer time, I was seeking God for direction as to what I should do next. You see, a couple of months ago, I hosted an event titled, Is Your Faith on Fleek? On the drive home, I asked God, “What’s Next?” I knew God had more for me to do and this time, I was committed to not getting ahead of Him and creating my own plan (which has been my MO so many times in the past). For weeks, I prayed but heard nothing. I didn’t understand. I knew if God gave me vision for my last assignment, He would again provide clarity for my next step. Day after day, I stayed in the Word, but still nothing. As I pondered over the silence, I remembered a wise woman once telling me, “God’s silence is sometimes the result of our inaction.” She told me years ago, “If you find yourself in this predicament, retrace your steps. Sometimes what you will find is that you missed Him…somewhere.” Thanks Judy Durham! I did not know where I missed God, but I was determined to find out.

Weeks later as I was preparing to attend a women’s conference, ReCreate15, I was still unsure of where I missed Him so I decided to fast. All I wanted was to hear His voice, to know what He wanted me to do. So for seven days, I denied my flesh coffee and fast food. These are huge sacrifices for me! I had a strong belief that during the conference God would speak to me. My sacrifice was my way of getting God’s attention. You see, He spoke to me last year at the same conference so I just knew it would happen again!

And it did!

The final speaker on Friday afternoon was Lisa Bevere. I can’t recall everything she said but at some point she quoted this scripture, “Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way” (James 1:2-4 MSG).

At that very moment, I heard God say, “Stop trying to abandon the process prematurely. For where you are going, you must be ‘mature, well developed, not deficient in any way.’ I gave you your next step months ago but because it was not what you expected, you ignored Me. At some point, my child, you must wholeheartedly say, ‘Not my will, but Yours be done.'”

I wept….

And asked for forgiveness because He was right. As I retraced my steps, months ago, I heard God telling me to start a small group. The material we were to study was Draw The Circle by Mark Batterson. He was so clear yet because it was not what I wanted to hear, I didn’t do it.

Today, I have a small group and we are studying just what God told me to study. Although we are only one-week in, I believe the life lessons shared in the book as well as those shared among the ladies who participate will impact our lives for years to come.

I challenge you today to do what God tells you to do. No matter how big or small the assignment, if it is God ordained, then it is purposeful whether we understand it or not. So just do it! Allow His will to supersede yours…at all times.


One thought on “NOT MY WILL

  1. Cindy Jones October 27, 2015 / 3:42 PM

    Hi Tijuana,

    Love the blog. I sent you a inbox on facebook it may have gone to your other mailbox. Thanks for sharing your heart. This really blessed me!


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